X 37.Wanting somehow a totally different reality ... but not wanting to disconnect of the energies from the actual one .

I've repeated this mistake many, many times.

I've dreamed ... about another life.

A totally different one.

I wanted all to be somehow changed overnight ... but i was not really moving not even a finger ... as a change to happen.

And it was worst than this.

My silly brain ... even convinced myself i should find a solution to keep the old reality too.

... just as a backup.

Not realising that in fact i actually want to somehow ... taste another parallel reality.

But .... not really disconnect from anything from the now.

Not even one single thought of abandoning for real ... my actual life.

Abandon my home.

Cut all my connections with the people from the stage of my life.

Or simple change the city i live in.

No.

It was convenient for myself to simple dream.

Nothing more than this.

And ... i was keep repeating on and on and on that ... i want another life.

All ... was a nonsense.

I could not even think of making an experiment ... and go into a place where the phone and internet is not working ... and cut for 2-3 days my connections with all those people which were keeping me prisoner of a reality which I disliked.

No ...

I couldn't do it.

And ... still ... i was repeating on and on and on ... "I want another life. I want another reality. I want a change. I want the opposite of all i experience now."

But ...

Illusory .... all continued into the same style.

Fortunately ... more i was analysing my life ... and this point of my evolution ... more i was understanding that actually all i had to do was to redefine the energies from my current reality.

Nothing more.

But ... I couldn't do that either.

No ...

So ... I've continued dreaming.

Allowing myself to split my soul between 2 parallel

realities ... but still not experiencing what i really want.

Most certainly ... i didn't knew so much about life .... as i was pretending i know ...

No ...

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philosophical essays” written by the romanian writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.

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